On Antibiotic day 11 of 14. You know, antibiotics are definite life-savers, but I think we take them for granted without realizing here are also serious drawbacks to their use. All of the others I've been on, I've never really noticed the side effects, but Flagyl is particularly nasty. At least they have me on a lower daily dose which I tolerate much better (hardly any nausea), and the bad taste in my mouth has faded somewhat. But my sleep pattern is way out of whack and I don't sleep well or much, and either the antibiotics or the illness itself wreaks havoc on my psyche. There's recent evidence that the gut actually plays a huge role in serotonin production, and they're finding a definite link between depression and a gut imbalance. Just google "serotonin and the gut" and you'll find a lot of newer research that I find pretty interesting. Like this one at American Psychological Association: That Gut Feeling
NOTE: I have no idea if this is a legitimate professional site or not. But it makes sense that with the illness affecting my gut biome and then the antibiotics coming in and further destroying it, that I'm way out of whack and feeling more anxious and depressed than normal (and my "normal" has always been off whack from what most would consider "normal" anyway.
All this to say in the grand scheme of things, I do realize my issues are minor and as my doctor said to me, "Don't be so glum, at least you don't have cancer." In other words, count your blessings, not your sorrows. Which is always good advice. I actually dreamed about this very thing yesterday, or wake-dreamed it anyway (in that half-aware not-sleeping-not-awake state of early morning) and was prepared to face the day with a better outlook and focused on the good things in my life instead of all the Bad lately. So it was pretty surprising when I finally got up with a deep depressed feeling. As I told my hubby, "I'm tired, and I'm tired of being tired." I was on the verge of tears and going to visit my mother just brought it to a head. I ended up running out of there sobbing after maybe five minutes with her, came home and went to bed and proceeded to chill out for a few hours with good old History Channel Ancient Discoveries programs. When I finally started feeling a little better, I worked for a couple hours on expenses and budget work we needed to do for an appointment this week.
This morning I woke up and I could finally say, "Tomorrow is the last day of one of my antibiotics!" (I finish the second one the next day.) Boy did that really improve my outlook. I can't wait until Wed. is over and then hopefully I can start getting back. And my fervent prayer is that I never have to go back on Flagyl again. Of course, that may involve surgery. ;(
Goal for the week ::focusing on the good for the rest of the week::